Revenge stinks!

Something good...yet gross...happened in college today. I had to crap. Its was one of those ass tearin types, whence you just can't keep it in. You wince even, and then, give a very weak smile to hide the fact, that any moment now, your ass is going to explode! Then after toying with the idea of whether to go to the John or not, you finally decide...I can't hold it in anymore!The same thing happened to me. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I had a free class, so had gone to the canteen to chill out, when the invasion of the turd happened. I excused myself from my friends. The faces I made before that in front of them, they must have figured out that I was either going to crap, or was going to fart very loud. There was one character, who was really taking my trip over my apparent discomfort. He was constantly asking me questions from the Lord of the rings. 'Why did Sam follow Frodo?, Why did Gollum help Frodo?, Why Eowyn go to battle?; Cause she was tired of sitting home and getting fucked by men, you asshole. But obviously I had to be polite, and answer each of his questions nicely.The questions didn't help my cause or comfort! It was one of those moments, where every1 knows that the discomfort is 'retro-related'. I got up, and then the pressure increased. I decided to run, but suddenly had a vision of my turds just, plopping down. Walking seemed like a million dollar idea. But the walk seemed to take ages. I finally reached, did my stuff. Quite potent. Anyway, the fun begins now. My college doesn't have any toilet papers. Don't ask me why, I don't know. Maybe they think students can't crap while studying, and anyway, since they always carry lots of paper with them anyway, they can use their own. I for one, can't dp that. Dilemma. Should I tear off a page from one of my beloved notebooks, or should I just pull up my pants, and imagine that it never happened. I don't know if you know it or not, but we usually wash our asses properly with hands, and not just wipe the left-over turd off with paper, like its done everywhere else. So i decided to do that. I washed , my ass with my left hand, but didn't wash my hand. Then I came out, proud, confident, and definitely relieved. I almost announced loudly, Come you fuckers, and ask me whatever you wanna ask! But instead I ran to the canteen, singled out my LOTR friend, and gave him a big bear hug, with my left hand especially roving all over his back. Then, I took my revenge further, and shaked hands with all those who I am not quite fond of. Revenge is sweet, and definitely has the potential to stink!